Automating Your Relationship: The Nays Have It
There may be hope for humanity yet: The overwhelming response to a poll I hosted asking if people would use an app that automated any part of their relationship was "No."Before saying anything else about the poll, I must point out that it is completely unscientific and has no validity other than being an interesting discussion point.OK. The statistician in me feels better having said that.Anyway, 41 folks responded to the question, "Would you ever use an app that automates even part of your relationship with a significant other?" Of those, 28 said no, and 13 said yes.
A mere 6 people answered the second question (though that's nearly half of those eligible to), "If you answered "yes" to the first question, why would you use the app?" and the results were varied. Two (both women) said it was because they're absent-minded. One (also a woman) said she was lazy. Three others (one man, one woman and one anonymous) answered "other," so who even knows what that means.The poll was inspired by a couple of articles written by Evan Selinger - Today's Apps Are Turning Us Into Sociopaths in Wired, and The Outsourced Lover in The Atlantic. His premise was that we're losing our humanity, to a degree. Allowing even the most personal interactions to be scheduled and automated and outsourced.Of course, one could argue that's been the purview of the wealthy for some time. How many movies and TV shows have used the trope of the busy businessman whose assistant remembers all the important dates in her boss' family life - anniversaries, birthdays, Mother's Day. She buys all the gifts, sends flowers when necessary and makes sure he remembers why this Friday is important.I'm very torn on the subject, though. I'm incredibly absent-minded. I've nearly forgotten my wedding anniversary more than once, and birthdays sneak up on me like phantoms. A part of me wouldn't mind if could be reminded of this, and schedule a personal message I could send. But another part of me feels as if this would make me less likely to even try to remember, and taking me even further out of the equation.Where is the line between scheduling a personal message and allowing an app to schedule a pre-set message? How much does it take to pass that line? I don't know the answer to that, and, for at least the time being, you won't find me using any app that automates anything to do with my personal relationships.My family knows how absent-minded I am. Imagine if the app failed, or I then forgot to update the app and tell it the proper dates to say something? So then I can't even be bothered to properly automate my relationship? I can easily see that happening. Easily. And I'd feel far, far worse if that were to happen.How about you?Photo by Sam Sutton via Flickr Creative Commons.