Dear Amy: The #SMEtiquette of Political Beliefs

 This post took on a new sense of ... timeliness given today's Supreme Court decision on Hobby Lobby and the fast-and-furious discussions I've been seeing all over everywhere about it. So I figured it was as good a time as any to post this discussion of when we feel we have to express our beliefs - on other people's timelines.Submit your questions!

Dear Amy:I have very strong political, social, and moral beliefs. I’m not going to say if I they're left or right, because I don’t want that to be the subject of the response. Some of my friends have very different beliefs than I do, and when they post things I vehemently disagree with, I feel a moral imperative to respond.If I fundamentally disagree with a friend’s Facebook status update and don’t comment, doesn’t it mean I agree with it? I’m at least giving tacit approval by not responding, if this is a subject I feel strongly about. I feel as if I’m violating my own principles if I don’t respond. Every time.My friends have started to get mad at me, though, saying I don’t have to respond each and every time a topic comes up, that they know my opinion. But not all of their friends necessarily know how I feel, and I just believe so strongly that I’m right.Despite our differences, I do care about these friends, and I don’t want to alienate them. How do I stay true to my beliefs while not angering my friends?Sincerely,Disapproving Dad

Dear Disapproving:Not commenting on a friend’s Facebook post does not exhibit tacit approval.However, weighing in on a topic each and every time it comes up may well cause your friends to decide to block you, or at least block you from seeing certain types of conversations.Look, it’s Facebook. Anyone posting something there is basically saying it publicly (whatever the privacy setting, there’s still a somewhat public nature to your updates there). Anyone who can’t handle that there are people who disagree maybe shouldn’t post it.That said, there are many topics – abortion, gay rights, women’s rights, politics – where we may be connected with people who hold wildly divergent views than ourselves. They have a right to those opinions just as much as we have a right to have ours.This is your friend’s Facebook thread. She has the right to block you from it or otherwise eliminate you from the conversation if you comment each and every time the subject comes up, stating the same opinion.No one seeing a thread without your commentary is going to think you have suddenly changed your mind. In fact, there may be other friends who have refrained from speaking their minds because they no longer want to become embroiled in a conversation about it with you.I have seen people on both the left and the right overdo it in this regard, and I’m kind of glad you are not saying which direction you tend toward because you’re right – it’s hard for that not to become the focus of conversation, especially in comments.And people of all political, social and moral stripes seem to do this – expressing their opinions vociferously on a topic, every time it comes up. Do they have the right to? Do you have the right to? Sure. It’s a free country.Does your friend have the right to block you or delete your comments? Sure. It’s a free country.But if you truly care about the friendship, consider saving your argument for the occasional comment, rather than every time. You most definitely are not expressing some sort of approval by not commenting. In fact, if you comment at all, your friends and followers are then exposed to the conversation when they wouldn’t have otherwise.So sometimes, when you see the subject come up, just take a deep breath, step away from the keyboard and do something else. I’m not asking you to forsake your beliefs – just don’t force them down your friends’ throats to make yourself feel better.