Musings on an underperforming child - just like his Mom

It's a difficult line to walk, as a parent - pushing your children to achieve their potential without making them neurotic about their grades.Lately, our younger boy has started getting nervous about finishing his work. He burst out crying in school one day because he felt as if he was getting more homework than he could finish. He's always been a bit lackadaisical about his homework. At one point last year, his math grade was quite poor. We had a talk about it with him and by the end of the marking period, he had an A minus in the class.Sigh.How like his mother he is. When I was his age, I generally did the minimal amount of work necessary to keep my grades at a level that wouldn't attract undue attention. In other words: I got the grades that would keep my parents and teachers from lecturing me about how I could do better than that. I still got those lectures upon occasion, but much less so than if I'd just been a lazy sod.Up until now, the little guy would coast along until someone notices his grades and then get his act together.But as he's gotten older, he's gotten more stressed about it, even as we tell him to just do his best, and it will all be OK.Everyone has their own smarts, and this little guy has the vocabulary of someone twice his age - frankly, he has a better vocabulary than most adults I hear speaking these days. His creative mind never stops spinning and I see him sometimes, lost in thought as he's doing his homework. He gets stuck on math, but once I work through the problem with him, it makes perfect sense and he just moves along swiftly through the rest.I want him to know that he doesn't have to get straight As, even as we won't tolerate failing grades. Fortunately, he seems to understand that most of the time. He's perfectly happy with Bs, and I need to let him know that's OK - as long as he's not getting them out of laziness.Yet, tonight I attend the National Elementary Honor Society induction with him, as he acts as an usher. So he must be doing something right, no?This being a parent thing is tough.Photo by Hey Paul Studios via Flickr Creative Commons.