Dear Amy: The #SMEtiquette of Game Invitations
A few years ago, the invites wouldn't stop from people playing Mafia Wars and Farmville. Today, it's Candy Crush and other goofy little games. Some people probably think this week's #SMEtiquette question is outdated, but based on what we see, it's a lesson that still has not been learned.Don't forget to submit your questions!
Dear Amy:An old friend unfriended me on Facebook because I kept sending Candy Crush invitations. Is it that big a deal? Can’t he just ignore the invite if he doesn’t want to play? It’s easier for me to send it to everyone Facebook suggests than pick out specific individuals.Gung-ho Gamer
Dear Gung-ho:You kind of answered your own question there: “It’s easier for me…”You’re choosing what’s easiest for you, rather than respecting the wishes of your friends.Based on how you phrased your question, I’m going to make an assumption: Either you asked your friend why he unfriended you, or he told you why he was doing it when he did it.If your friend is willing to tell you the cause of his unfriending, it’s not unreasonable to assume that he had previously asked you to stop sending these invitations. If he did, you should have made sure then and there that you never sent another invite to him again.Fact is, it’s in Facebook’s interest to have you spray everyone you know with invitations to Farmville, Farm Heroes, Candy Crush and any other game you may have been sucked into playing. You can’t get mad at Facebook – they want to keep you and everyone else on the site.You’re the one who controls the “send invitations” button. You don’t have to click “send” automatically. How long is it going to take you to de-select people you know or assume won’t be interested in the game? Isn’t your taking a couple of extra minutes worth salvaging a friendship?Sure, the people receiving the invitations can always hit “ignore” – but if you don’t want to take the time to send invitations only to appropriate friends, why should they have to take that little bit of time to hit ignore?And, sure, the people receiving the invitations can even choose to ignore all invites from that game. But that’s a couple of more clicks, even. Sigh. It’s not going to take them THAT much time to do it.Exactly. But why should they have to take the time to do it if you’re not willing to take the time to prevent it? It gets tiring, too, to every day go through game invites and hit ignore on multiple games.Basically, you’re taking up their valuable time so as not to infringe on your valuable Facebook gameplay time.So don’t send invites to games or other apps to just everyone Facebook suggests. Take a moment or two to go through the names and select just those people you think might actually be interested.And then don’t send them invitations again, or else you might find yourself one friend short on Facebook.